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Santa Banta English SMS Collection

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 165 Characters



Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 162 Characters


How did santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 109 Characters


Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 166 Characters


Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. Itís ****. Santa: U r wrong. Itís 1394.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 145 Characters


Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 114 Characters


Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.


Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 113 Characters


Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long...!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 96 Characters


Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 112 Characters


A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesnít turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 186 Characters


Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 133 Characters


An englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 126 Characters


Jeeto yelled at santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind, which one is it gonna be!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 124 Characters


Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?


Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 132 Characters


Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where..

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 151 Characters


Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 175 Characters


Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...
Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 143 Characters


Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 118 Characters


Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 178 Characters


History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 87 Characters


Santa giving exam while standing at the door.
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"
Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 138 Characters


Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself.
Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 131 Characters


Teacher to santa: where were you born?
Santa: Thiruvananthapuram
Teacher: can u spell it?
Santa (after thinking for some time): I think I was born in GOA.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 157 Characters


Santa: "God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple".

(After waliking some distance, he finds a 50 rupee note)

Santa: "Shame on you God, you don't even trust me a little? You have already taken your share!"

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 234 Characters


Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 139 Characters


While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 158 Characters


Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 145 Characters


Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 102 Characters


Donít rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 158 Characters


Whatís missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & youíll get a heart! If u pick U, youíll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than hv a heart without U.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 159 Characters


To live this life I need a heartbeat, to have a heartbeat I need a heart, to have a heart I need happiness and to have happiness I need you!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 140 Characters


I have liked many but loved very few yet no one has been as sweet as you. I'd stand & wait in the world's longest queue just 4 the pleasure of a moment with u.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 159 Characters


Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 99 Characters


How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 125 Characters


Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 102 Characters


Santa: Iím a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: Whatís he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 137 Characters


Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 94 Characters


Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz havenít u heard train is coming on platform.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 154 Characters


Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 81 Characters


Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 156 Characters


Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! Thatís terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 137 Characters


Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 156 Characters


Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 96 Characters


Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 163 Characters


Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 94 Characters


Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 144 Characters


Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 160 Characters


Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 143 Characters


Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 128 Characters


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