Collection of SMS, Jokes, Riddles, Recipes, Wallpapers
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SMS Collection
SMS Collection
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Naughty English SMS Collection

Teacher: why are you late?
Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.
Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it?
Student: No, only BULL can do it.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 153 Characters



I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =)

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 116 Characters


A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 157 Characters


Press down.




down more


deeper



more
YES



ahh



ohh




yes
Almost there!


ooh baby


faster


harder
FEEL GOOD?

mmmm

THAT'S TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 197 Characters


( ')
/ / in love !
/ /
( ) )

, ( ') engaged
/ , '
( ) )

married
, - - .
( ) )'(, )

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 95 Characters


Please
( ) press down!
( ) )

( ')
/ /
( ) ) oh yeah !!!

( ')'.:,".;.
/ / ';".',,'
/ / ooohhh
( ) ) baby ur good!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 127 Characters


What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 96 Characters


A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered - waiting for autumn.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 164 Characters


A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 167 Characters


A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 137 Characters


A Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 156 Characters


A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 153 Characters


A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like. Mama dog said: "Your dad came from behind, I do not have the chance to see its face carefully!"

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 142 Characters


One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 168 Characters


1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 160 Characters


Sounds women make during sex.
1) Asthmatic - ah.ahh.ah..ah.
2) Obedient - yes.yes..yes.
3) Unsatisfied - more. more...more.
4) Religious - oh god. oh god.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 158 Characters


Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 103 Characters


Why do 90%
of the girls have a bigger left breast ?

  )    (
( .)( . )
  )     (


because....



90% of the
boys are
right handed..

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 147 Characters


In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.

He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 163 Characters


When an apple is green, its ready to pluck. When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...







VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near, but I know what you were thinking.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 179 Characters


Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriend?....




Because, he drinks 2 litre of milk daily.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 98 Characters


Boy (to girl): What's there in between your legs?
Girl: Hell! And what's there in between your legs?
Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 142 Characters


Girl & Boy were having sex.
Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips!
Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip?
Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 200 Characters


Lady1: How come your husband is always home on time?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are here or not.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 136 Characters


An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 130 Characters


Colour of underwear reflects your mood:
Red - Wild,
Black - Sexy,
Blue - Romantic,
Pink - Seductive
White - Calm,
Yellow - time to change your undrewear!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 159 Characters


A dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, "Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 93 Characters


Wives r incoming calls,
Lovers r outgoing calls,
Aunties r Toll-free calls,
Callgirls r Roaming calls,
Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 138 Characters


Itís short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?
Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 145 Characters


Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She'll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u'll hv a child on children`s day. Don't try this on everybody. U'll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 184 Characters


Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn't laugh at a 3Ĺ inch floppy.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 105 Characters


Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 135 Characters


Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls have all the fun.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 125 Characters


.
(')


(')
/ /
/ /

(')
)/ /


"o (')
.' )/ /


o""o (')
( '.' )/ /

o""o (') HELLO!
( '.' )/ /
( . )Geeh som1's got a dirty mind!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 152 Characters


(_,_)2 stay
(') Young
// +SEXY
(,))

) ' (
(_,_)DO
(,))
) ' (
(_,_)THiS
//
(,))

) ' (
(_,_)M÷re
(,))
(_,_)
(')'; OFTEN
// ';
(,)) '

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 151 Characters


------) ' (------
---- (_(_)------
----- I I I -------
--I SEE U BABY--

------) ' (------
----(_)_)-----
----- I I I-----
SHAKIN DAT ASS!!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 154 Characters


Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women

A: magnets have a positive side

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 84 Characters


Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din't wear any of them.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 157 Characters


Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with MEN!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 132 Characters


Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!

ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 165 Characters


A Short thing
It gets Longer
when U hold it
N pass between
women Breasts
N enters into
A hole
What is it?
1 min 2 think!
Car Seat Belt
U dirty mind.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 168 Characters


He came 2 me 1 nite
explored my body
licked
sucked
swallowed
& had his fill
wen satisfied he left...
I was hurt...
F***IN MOSQUITO
U Dirty Mind

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 162 Characters


Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 135 Characters


When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment,
when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its $$$ per minute!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 112 Characters


Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 96 Characters


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